No, it is not true that we do not care what they think of us , that we dress in certain ways because we like them, or that we do certain things just because it interests us. In fact, it is just the opposite: we care what others think of us, especially our peers.
Thus, a team of UCL researchers has developed a mathematical equation that can explain how our self-esteem is determined by what other people think of us .
What happens in our brain
Low self-esteem is a vulnerability factor for numerous psychiatric problems, including eating disorders, anxiety disorders, and depression. In this study, they identified exactly what happens in the brain when self-esteem rises and falls.
For the study, 40 participants performed a social assessment task while staying in an MRI scanner . After uploading a profile to an online database, they received feedback, apparently provided by 184 strangers (actually an algorithm), in the form of a thumbs up (I like it) or a thumbs down (I don’t like it).
The ‘strangers’ were in different groups so that participants learned to expect positive comments from some groups of evaluators and negative comments from other groups. After every 2-3 trials, the participants reported their self-esteem at that time.
Participants expected to please ‘strangers’ in the groups that mostly gave positive feedback, so when they received a thumbs down from a person in that group, their self-esteem took a hit . These social prediction errors, the difference between expected and received feedback, were key to determining self-esteem.
Consequently, changes in self-esteem were guided not only by whether other people liked you, but were especially dependent on whether you expected to like you.
Finally, a model of the neural processes at play was developed when assessments impact self-esteem, and it was found that social prediction errors and changes in self-esteem resulting from these errors were related to activity in important parts of the brain. for learning and assessment. The researchers hypothesize that such a pattern of neural activity could be a neurobiological marker that confers an increased risk for a variety of common mental health problems.
This is how dependent on the judgment of others our self-esteem can be. We perceive ourselves, to a large extent, as others perceive us. This feedback constitutes the basic pillar of our self-esteem . Of what we think we deserve. Therefore, if they put a grade from 1 to 10 on your forehead, you would soon suspect which grade it is based on the interactions you will establish with other people with different grades. As you can see in the following video: